life support

just pull the plug already.

you're right becky..

she could just pull the plug on me at any moment.

& here we go again..
that familiar empty feeling.
that pain setting in my chest.
the build up of tears
once again..

what a mess

before you overanalyze...
think..

is it of your concern?
do you have the right?

...... no
so stay on the path.

dog days.

i really have no one to go to..
i have to just suck it up.
i've gone to my friends enough
they've heard the ins n outs of my pain.
they knew i was doing ok..
but now i'm not.
& i can't complain anymore.
i knew this was coming
i knew this was gonna happen.
i was just waiting.
so let it be.
it's not mine to deal with anymore.
you can't control something that's not in your hands.

positive vibes
positive vibes
positive vibes
positive vibes
positive vibes
positive vibes
positive vibes
positive vibes
positive vibes
positive vibes
positive vibes
positive vibes
positive vibes
positive vibes
positive vibes
positive vibes
positive vibes
positive vibes
positive vibes
positive vibes
positive vibes
positive vibes
positive vibes
positive vibes
positive vibes
positive vibes
positive vibes
positive vibes
positive vibes
positive vibes
positive vibes
positive vibes
positive vibes
positive vibes
positive vibes
positive vibes
positive vibes
positive vibes
positive vibes
positive vibes
laksjdflkajs;fkljf

there you go breaking my heart again.

torture me and torture me

even through the hard times...
just smile.

i cant control the situation
no more than i can control time.

i know i hurt you and i made you sad
but don't forget that there were good times too
and i'm human too.. i hurt too.

but as a friend i wanna tell you
to let go of that negative vibe
there's no point in dwelling in the past
no point in thinking about what happened
because we're here now.. there's no
need for that drama. be humble.
tomorrow's a new day
make the mistake today
& fix it tomorrow.

rejection..

when i lay in bed i like turning to my right. that's where your shirt is and right when i turn my head that way i can already smell your scent and it still drives me berserk. it makes me just wanna hug you tight and never let go..

John Legend - Hello It's Me

hello it's me,
i've thought about us for a long long time
maybe i think too much but something's wrong
there's something here that doesn't last too long
maybe i shouldn't think of you as mine..

it's important to me that you know you are free
cuz i never want to make you change

i wanna
hold your hair back
as i kiss the...
back of your neck.

i'm gonna be supportive.
i'm gonna accept what's meant to be.
i'm gonna be a better person.
i'm just gonna be.

oh no.
pls no.

i guess i'm better off alone
cuz if i were to be in one
i would only be that selfish.
to bring you down to my level
is not something i wish
& it was never my intention
to begin with because i thought
we were on the same page
only i was a page behind.
i can't prove to you anything
because you'll only believe
what you want and you can't
trust when you lack trust.
so i guess i'm better off alone.

feel better chump.
gotta get through the bad to get to the good
right?
isn't that how it works?
i got through the bad and i was brought to her..
so it's gotta work.
there'll be brighter days
after these rainy ones.
it can only get better from here.
right?

cold as ice...
it seemed,
those words that
slipped right out.
recited
convincing

cold as ice..
it seemed,
you meant the truth.

i guess you're fine..
& i'll manage, i suppose.
i'll get by just to get by.
life... as we know it.

thanks.

work... oh joy.
gotta be in work mode.

BLAH!!!!!!!
RAWR!!!!!!!!!!!!

i don't think i can feel anymore.

how can you get back what you can't give out again?

should've known that it was gonna end up this way. what else can i say? there's no excuse for everything that i've done. there's no excuse for what i've put you through. i'm unhappy with the fact that i've done this to you. i just never thought that we'd come down to us parting.

you're my best friend,
my soul mate,
my lover,
my everything.

but now i have to let you go..

i don't know what to do.. what's the right thing to say in this kind of situation? i let you down. i made a big mistake and i could say all the things in the world and it still wouldn't be right. it's been heard before and not even a constant surprise for you. i was wrong.

girl i know i got a good thing
and i know that you're my everything
so you'll always be all i need
girl nothing means more to me.
i could try and find someone that's more special
but i'd search all my life cuz there's no one like my angel
and God knows that i'd be a fool if i ever let you go
that would be the biggest mistake of my life.

maybe that works? resorting to a song, how lame?
it hurts so bad.. you're not here with me. i've pushed you this far away from me without even knowing. i guess maybe you're right. maybe i wasn't ready.. as ready as i thought i was but i was certain that i was. we were happy but i just messed it up as i usually do. i have to have faith in this time. i hope you do too. faith that we'll come out of this one stronger than we've ever been. i'm committed to you and i'm committing to being a better girlfriend for you. i don't wanna let you down again, i don't want to disappoint you. you're the most important person in my life and i don't want to lose that.

out of the blue, i need a window seat

i don't know how to feel right now.
i'm kinda hurtin.. but i gotta suck it up right.
riiiiight.

the right thing to do would be the right thing..
so what is it?

i needz me a window seat.

so much going through my mind
i've got anger inside.. i want to distance myself but then i love you and i want to be with you but... we're back at what's the right thing to do?? asdkfj;lkj

best answer i've come up with... just go with the flow

sometimes..

i feel like dying. i'm a wallflower and..... whateva. gnite

do you want to know a secret?

i say somethings when i'm drunk that i don't mean. i just say what's on my mind but before i even begin to start i should say that i actually put thought into it. i am pretty mean but i've decided that i'm not gonna be that person. if it comes about then maybe it'll be addressed but for now. i'll just suppress the feelings. i went back into my past and thought "k, i should change it up and not be that person." not let it get to me. i've got my life to live and worry bout the more important things and if they're just not gonna live up to my standards of how a human being should be then i just won't deal with HIS bullshit. sounds good to me. that's why i have this blog. let out the frustrations that i have. k cool.

af & mu

i love my girlfriend so much! she really surprised me. i am a happy camper ;] she really made my night. this year together has been the best. gets tough sometimes but we work it out together. i love that we work it out together. it reassures me that we can do this. i'm hers and she's mine.

circulatory

so when i was little there were two things that i wanted to do. become a chef and work in the medical field. i remember watching my barney videos and it was the one where they were talking about what they wanted to be when they grew up. the girl wanted to be a chef and she looked so cool with all her cooking tools. i loved the idea of making food so that's why i tried to cook at a young age. i perfected the scrambled egg on my first try probably at the age of 8 or younger? i'm not sure but it was so fun! i used to always cook eggs after that each weekend for my sisters. as i got a little older i tried different ways of cooking the egg. there's so much you can do with an egg. for some reason i found it amazing. so i made it an ideal career when i was young. another memory i had today was when i was in my biology class. it refreshed my memory of why i wanted to be in the medical field. we were learning about the heart and the flow of the blood through the left atrium and ventricle etc. etc. but i had a flashback to 5th grade. we had a model of the heart and we learned about the different parts of the heart. right atrium right ventricle left atrium left ventricle. when we started learning about the body was when i knew i wanted to do something for people. i was so amazed by how the body works especially when we learned about the heart. i even considered being a doctor because i wanted to be a better doctor than doctors today. hmm maybe after becoming a nurse i can go back to school and get my PhD. it sounds highly unlikely but maybe with enough drive just maybe i can do it? i'm trying to set goals for myself. i already got the culinary down. now i need to get my medical field down.

i guess we lose sight of these things when you realize the long hard road you have to take to reach these goals. i'll admit when i was in high school i was always lazy and trying to find the easy way out. i had no clue bout what i wanted to do because all i could think about was living in the now and not the future. it took me awhile to finally get to this responsible me. it actually feels good to know that i've progressed. after going to culinary school and reaching that goal it made me realize that the hard work pays off and is really worth it. i'm finally in the right direction. what a breath of fresh air!

relocation

sdeeeeeezy??? soon to be :]
i can't waaaait.

really wish i could move to sj. it would be nice to make some big jumps like that but i can't do it just quite yet. sounds whack, i know.

san jose

is where my heart CURRENTLY is.. soon to be SD. i hope. i must say i'm really excited to listen to this erykah badu cd. good vibes. part one of amerykah was alright if i was in the mood for it but so far part two is dope! hmmMMm what are the other parts gonna be?!

i miss the love of my life!!!!!!!
waaaaah waaaaaaaaaaaah

dream crazy

crazy dreams..

but i like the theme of what it would mean? i try not to put a meaning to dreams but sometimes it's so interesting especially something that i thought had no meaning to it like my dream that i had during my nap. i guess i like where my life is going right now and i live for the change. i like constant but change is fine too. right direction and i'm finally happy. that's all that counts right? i'm so excited for the future even if it holds the unknown. the inevitable isn't so bad. rearranging everything and it's not like it was before. ya digg?

hard to concentrate

Hustle, bustle, and, so much muscle aww
Cells about to separate
Now I find it hard to concentrate
And, temporary this
Cash and carry em
Stepping up to indicate
The time has come to deviate

And, all I want is for you to be happy
And, take this moment to make you my family
And, finally you have found something perfect
And, finally you have found

Death defying this
Mess Im buying its
Raining down with love and hate
Now, I find it hard to motivate

And, estuary is, blessed but scary
Hearts about to palpitate
Now, Im not about to hesitate
And, want to treasure the rest of your days here
And, give you pleasure in so many ways dear

And, finally you have found something perfect
And, finally you have found�
Here we go

Do you want me to show up for duty
And, serve this woman, and honor her beauty

And, finally you have found something perfect
And, finally you have found� Yourself

With me...will you...agree..to take
This man...into your world
And now... we are as one...

My lone ranger
The, heat-exchanger
Is, living in this figure eight
Now I do my best to recreate
And, sweet precision
And, soft collision aww
Hearts about to palpitate
Now I find it hard to separate

And, all I want is for you to be happy
And, take this woman and make you my family
And, finally you have found someone perfect
And, finally you have found

All I want is for you to be happy
And, take this woman and make you my family
And, finally you have found someone perfect
And, finally you have found

Yourself

invisible woman

i feel invisible.. maybe i am? in that case i'll just stay invisible.

my philosophy teacher didn't assign a paper today. whew! but i have a feeling he's gonna assign one on thursday for us to do over break. womp womp womp! i thought i was gonna be able to go through a spring break without having to deal with homework but i guess not.

so tuesday is pretty much over with, so am i allowed to say that it's wednesday already? if so then atleast tomorrow is thursday! i must gather my things together for my trip with my best friend. i hope eleanor is okay. i wouldn't want her to trip out. KNOCK ON WOOD. i just want chris and i to be safe, that's all. adventures are coming up soon. we'll have activities to do!!! yaaaaay.

i miss the love of my life. i can't wait till our lips meet again. mmmm it'll be perfect.

------------------------edit
today in philosophy we're talking about sense data and how we learn things. i wish i was listening. the chapter that we're going through right now is about knowledge and how we learn things. this class just made me realize how frightening the mind really is. we look at things through a deeper perspective in this class and it really is mind boggling. some of the concepts and theories really make me think and not just about what we're learning in class but i also try to apply it to myself and think of examples from my own life experiences to what we learn in class. how do you unknow something? you can't. isn't that trippy? i wish that i was paying attention in class.. but at this moment in class it's beginning to get a little hazy. it's not sinking in but i make note of important things. that's all that matters right? haha NO! so descartes couldn't get passed his idea of metaphysics so he couldn't really explain how knowledge is learned or how we learn things. he kept referring back to innate knowledge, God, and substance blah blah blah but john locke believed that we learn things through our senses. he also disagreed with descartes' ideas of innate knowledge but Leibniz found flaws in locke's theories. leibniz brought up a good idea about if we don't have innate knowledge then what about the people that are natural athletes or those who have the ability to sing and hold a note. they must have some innate knowledge but locke disagrees. that made me think... those who are masters at things like mathematics, music, sports etc. etc. where does it come from? i guess i have to read on and wait for the next class to figure it out. hope i don't sleep!

advocate for good music

i am

it is one of those days where i felt like i've hiphopped myself out and now i'm craving for something different so i'm turning to cake and radiohead to save my day. sounds good doesn't it? spring seems like an alternative season type of thing. atleast that's what it seems to me?

so today is tuesday and i'm done with one class.. one more to go. i hope my philosophy teacher doesn't assign a paper today because that would mess up my mood!! oh yeah and i forgot i have to do my homework for bio!!! and study study study for friday's test. woopee =[

panda bear

i love my girlfriend so much. i can't wait to be with her!!

gettin up

come on we gettin up..
thank God it's friday!

hope today goes smoothly cuz i'm already tired but atleast it's FRIDAY! woot woot n then next week!!! last week of school before spring break.. my one week vacation spent with the love of my life and chrissy poo. time to not give a fuck! =]

soon enough

i could move away.. but i'd miss SD for the simple fact that my family and friends are here but then again... BLAH BLAH BLAH

but she's moving here.. and soon enough i will be saved.

last breath

you're a breath of fresh air to me..

i gotz new aviators.. as opposed to old ones that i had? haha well i had old ones that used to belong to my pops. they're rayban aviators, i believe? i used to wear them when i was 16. how cuuuuuute. anyways these new ones are from banana republic n they're pretty spiffy if you ask me.

there's a test tomorrow for maff. decimals? shouldn't be too bad right? seems easy... cept for the 4 digit numbers! ok ok i'm just being lazy. real life problems that you solve with 4 digit numbers. wtf? hmm if you say so!

it's almost the end of this week. it's too exciting. i'm already considering this a thursday since wednesday night is done and over with. yeeeeee! i can't wait till i climax.. wait what? did i say that? HMMMMMM...

st. patrick's day

Good Morning...
i got my green "America's Finest City" T-shirt on.
ugh.. this morning was a lil bit easier to wake up to.
maybe this means i'm getting used to it? bleh.
hope i stay awake in class.. if not that means
nap time in class.

prenup

i should've known better....

got my hopes all high cuz in my mind there's a form perhaps an ideal.. but shit never goes as planned (in my head) i should know by now right? that's my fault

sunshine

it's freakin hot!!! n then the cold is gonna come back outta the left field....i hope. haha i'm so huuuungry. i'm just rambling cuz i have nothing else to say but i'm trying to get into the habit of blogging and reflect.. but it hasn't been the whole day yet. i'll edit later.

edit 30 min later...

i can't wait to get away. i need a fuckin vacation away from this house. i can't wait till i move out either. then i won't have to deal with family members being annoyed by me. or having to deal with not being equal to anyone. when i get out of here it'll just be me and the love of my life n then everyone else won't matter to me just like what they did to me. i wish my parents didnt wait so long to have me... now they have to wait long for me to get my shit together. ughhhhh vent vent vent and hope all this anger goes away. vent vent vent and hope this negativity leaves. i'm just tired of living here with people that don't really care. then they wonder why i act the way i do. cuz i don't tolerate shit like this.. you think feeling this way for so long would cause me to be used to it. not really. i actually just wanna fight it rather than take it. what else can you do though? suck it up, i guess. swallow my pride.

on the brightside.... i'll be gone soon.. next week is my departure from this house. no responsibility for a week! ughh yes! can't wait. soon enough ill get to hug her as much as i want!

erykahbadu-mylife

sure ain't been too easy...

but we all gotta learn from the negatives. it's the only way to live. do not dwell. progress from the negative. make that positive choice. i've still got a long road to make but i do applaud those who are almost there. i look up to the positive influences in my life. gotta fulfill the dream, ya dig?

i'm trying to look at each day as a new adventure. each morning i'm gonna try and think positive. i should post post-its just as a reminder. life is only as good as you make it right? try not to let others bring me down and put that negative energy into something else.. just don't know what it is yet. i'll let you know when i figure it out.

keep hustlin'

sundizzle

i need to gym this week and next week before i go on my trip with chrissy poo. yaaaay! it's almost time for me to see the love of my life. i can't wait especially since it is me n chris' first real road trip together. a vacation with my two favorite people. 8 hours away from home and all the worries until april 3rd. bleeeeh. i start my training for mac grill on the 3rd at approximately 10 o'clock. i'm actually looking forward to it. cash money, nah mean? finally, some kind of income.. but this time gotta spend it wisely. save save save and spend. not too much spending.. just spend. haha finally i can enjoy life outside of my house.... chyeah right. i'm probably gonna be hella busy with balancing school and work... and making time for my love of my life. i'll make it work damnit! oh yeah king's fishhouse called me today. another boost to my self esteem.. too bad i already accepted the job at mac grill. sall good though i bet they get more business than king's fishhouse does. suckaaaaaz!

romano's macaroni grill

i got the job at mac grill!!!
now it's time to show my..... expediting skills?
HAHAHA whatever that means? yes! what a confidence boost
-----------------------------------------edit

we're in love
we've been in love
we stayed in love
still in love

she's mine mine mine

8

today's my lucky-ish day

terrible

i feel.. terrible.
my mistake, i shouldn't have read your blog.
and now i feel like crap before an important interview. now what do i do?? how do i bring myself back up? for some reason.. i knew this was gonna happen. it was something that i was hoping wouldn't happen. after all that we've been through we just focus on the problem. i know i'm not a terrible person. i just have a few flaws that i need to stay focused on to work on. i'm not used being perfect. i'm not used to what you expect me to be. i mean i'm me.. i don't stop for nobody but here i am trying to stop and take a look at myself for once to figure out why i am the way i am.

i guess that's where we're different.
you don't want to settle and i don't want you to have to settle and lower your standards for me. i don't wanna feel like shit because i am the way i am. i only want you to be happy. so would it make you happier if i wasn't with you? you already know what your happiness relies on and it's not me.. i'm trying for you but that doesn't seem to be good enough anymore.

i'm capable of good and i'm working on it. what else can i possibly do?

i love you for you... seems like i can't get the same but you deserve the best.. so it only leaves us with... what?

dilla-circus

it's nice to have a little bit of dilla in your life once in awhile. this is a dope ass instrumental and i've been listening to it this whole day!

hump day

is study day...
review day foooooor
my math test tomorrow at 8
chickfila interview at 10
philosophy test at 12:30
THEN...
mac grill at 2

thursday seems like a busy day.

toos-day

i finished my paper on descartes vs. spinoza, whew! what a relief for the day.. but i have an upcoming test for philosophy which i SHOULD study for. gotta go over the review sheets/study guide.

------------------------------------------edit

it's nice when my sisters are both here at home especially when their munchkins wake me up from my nappy nap! i wanted to tape kam's mouth shut and cuff eli down. ahaha could you imagine if my sisters came home to them like that? hahaha i finished my maff homework and extra credit. now i needs ta make my philosophy review for the shit that he didn't give a review sheet on. oh well.. shouldn't be that bad right? we went over it today in class and it seemed pretty condensed up just not on a sheet of paper. i should've written it all down but then i figured that i have notes i'll just do it when i get home. bleh. now i'm home and I SHOULD DO IT but i'm still kinda lazy. i'll get a drink first n then begin!

due dates

this week...
math hw due tuesday
philosophy paper due tuesday
math test thursday
philosophy test thursday
lab quiz friday

capture the flag

i think...
i should blog more
so i have something to refer to..
reflect on my days.
remember whats important.
express. stay inspired.
work towards my goals.
be that better person that i know i'm capable of.

you know..
refer to so i can change tomorrow.

nothing's right..

i'm torn.

i love her
but..

edit

did a lot of thinking today n yet i still don't know what to do?
i keep fighting with myself in my head.
it was just something tiny. it could have been different.
you could have just dropped it. you could have just let it go.
i always do this..

i'm selfish but...
what means more?

i keep pushing and pushing..
it won't be long till i've pushed her away.

detach

for the past few days my horoscope has been nothing but good. for today it says that there's something in the air and everyone's happy and supposedly "especially me" i think it's bullshit. why did i even try to believe that everything would be okay in the morning? i've hurt her with my stupid bullshit selfishness. i don't even think about her and what she needs out of our relationship but only what i need from it. my happiness is my only concern. that's my problem.

i wanna say that i was never this selfish because i never put myself first in my past relationships. someone else always put themselves first. i was fucked and not in a good way. i knew about the lies, i knew about the secrets, i knew everything and yet i let it slide because i felt like i was the one that could make it worth it. i learned so much from that bad experience. you grow from the pain. pain causes suffering which leads to you healing and becoming a better person from it. that's what i was trying to do atleast. i was trying to be a better person. perceive the world in a way that no one is open to because of their own selfishness and desires. and now... look at me. i don't even stand by what i believe in.

now.. i'm in a relationship. i never knew what it was to feel so selfish until she showed me that i'm not standing by my own words. maybe i don't belong in a relationship. there's no progress and i'm not learning from it. maybe i need to detach myself. not let emotions run me. let go of my desires. without desire there will not be any suffering.

maybe she'll be happier without me?

what do i do? i don't know what to do anymore.. it's an endless cycle that i put her through until i realize that i can break it.

new

even shittier

10:31

disregard everything

i have to make a decision..
i need to make one as soon as possible.

i gotta figure it out.
the clock is ticking and there's no time to fuck up.



sign at the bottom & you get to leave.

the beatles - let it be

i wanna say that i'm not judgemental but that would be a lie.
i try not to be judgemental in my opinions but it comes out that way.

maybe i should keep my judgemental opinions to myself so i don't come off as an asshole but i try to give advice according to what i've already experienced. the future is there to prove me wrong and if it does then that's good because then i'll feel like i've learned something.

maybe i shouldn't care as much.. but then i thought that i improved on this??

i'll just stay clear and not share too much of me.
i can do without the drama for once.
i kinda feel like friends aren't really friends anymore.
we depend on others for happiness or lack happiness and it's not the same.
i guess this is part of growing up? or growing out of....

parents

your parents reflect through you..
seems a tad bit true.
i wanna be openminded unlike them.
i wanna be able to speak to my kids and talk to them
instead of worrying about what they might turn out to be.
i'd rather just show them that they shouldn't be afraid to tell me whats on their minds.
i don't want them to be afraid of anything.
i'd want someone to treat me the way that i would want to be treated
i want them to be a better me.
i wanna be a better parent.

if imma do it.. i gotta change the world through her.

i was never able to speak my mind to my parents
i was always scared to because of what they'd say to me
& really just because they'd yell at me for feeling the way that i do.
i'm tired of feeling this way at home. i gotta get out of here.

413

i love her.. i don't wanna lose her.
gotta make that change cuz i don't wanna do her wrong.

lonely

i feel lonely.
& i feel stupid.

maybe i shouldn't share my perspective anymore.
i'll keep everything to myself.. besides.. what's a secret if you share it with someone?

have i mentioned how much i hate being told what to do?

anyways...

other than all these emo posts
i should put these stupid emotions into something.
projects.. create some designs on photoshop maybe?
paint.. draw.. read. something positive.

maybe for these 40 days and 40 nights i won't go out. i'll be a hermit.

keep pushing

I want to learn to be different from my parents. They hold values that I don't always agree with but they're good people. I want to be as hardworking as they are. Make something out of myself but I don't want to be them exactly.. I know they have reasons for the things that they say to me and for once I'm striving for some direction. And now they finally decide to push me. I know they want the best for me because it is what i want for myself. I want the best for me. I don't want to settle (and sometimes i do..) I need to learn to conquer my fears and just do it.

Take a risk. Jump and hope that I'll land safely. The sky's the limit. It's time to move on with my life. My life... sounds so weird. You never think about these things when you're little and I wished that someone had dropped some knowledge on me about life. Even if I wouldn't get it at a young age, I know I'd be able to recall the moment that someone told me bout it.

Maybe being spoiled is my problem. I never got a push until a few years ago. I was always stuck in the mentality that I can't do it and I was so lazy. Little did I know that I can do things. I need to push myself.

tao

so i noticed that during today's class i wasn't too interested in Confucius as i was in Lao-Tzu and Siddhartha. Maybe i felt that they had a different perspective and tried to see the world in a better way. Or maybe it was because of Confucius' dominant side that comes off very old school, very old fashioned. We weren't able to get to how Siddhartha saw the world but I'm sure that lecture will be good. I enjoyed Lao-Tzu's views of how the world really is. He believed in the Tao which means "the way." He had

5 Taoist Principles:

1. Tao - Recognize the pattern and process of the world. You'll find that in life EVERYTHING in the world has pattern and process.
2. Effortlessness - Having no strain, no struggle, no frustration. Be at one with what you're doing.
3. Simplicity - Get rid of anything artificial/unnecessary in your life.
4. Gentleness - Violence is unnecessary.
5. Relativity - people see things from a limited point of view which is THEIR OWN VIEW. The world embraces relativity.

I believe these principles are true and something I always try to remember. I had no idea that someone already posted these as principles but it is something that you learn from life and learn about life. It is sometimes hard to grasp the ideas of these philosophers because they come from a world where they had no technology but their own minds that came up with great ideas. It kinda baffles me. Once you know something, you can not unknow it.

PEDO BEAR

it's kinda nasty when you're at that age where you can go out to the clubs n party like the rest of the people that are your age AND YOU KNOW that your OLDER cousin and his DJ crew are djing clubs during asian nights cuz you KNOW that they're hitting on girls your age and probably younger. nasty. it's so weird seeing friend approvals on facebook cuz then i get to see all the girls that my cousin is friends with... n most of these girls i've probably seen around that are my age. can you say pedo?

PLANNER..

although gemini's don't really like routine.......
I NEED TO GET INTO ROUTINE OF THINGS LIKE...
-studying
-working out/staying active
-keep up pos. vibes
-eat healthy meaning NO FAST FOOD. quality over quantity.

so... i need a planner.

i love pandas

got the memo?

somethings just never stick.

wish you a good day

I don't wanna see you cry now
I wonder why you were pushed to the point
Where you felt you couldn't take no more
Look in my eyes now
I wanna show you that I care
And I can't stand to see you hurting
I love the one you are
I'm not too far away
To help you if you need that
If you're my mom, my brother, my friend
My lover, my sister
I wanna wish ya a good day
I wanna wish ya a good day
---------------------------------------------
i'm glad i have someone that helps me realize things..
especially when i need to shake things off i basically keep her in mind.
i try to keep a mental note of these things but it's hard for me.
i guess i'm still trying to learn how to put my pride aside.
i'm trying to be a better person. someone with more understanding..
someone that can stay strong even through hard times.
i know she helps me to be a better person.

anyways..
i just hope that all my loved ones know that i'm here for them as well..
even if we do get angry at each other at times.. we can still depend on one another
atleast i know i'm someone that you can depend on.. sometimes. HAHAH

so i wanna wish ya a good day.

aslkjd;lkasdf

i don't think you understood..
i'm tired of explaining myself.

awkward turtle

i miss my awkward panda..

btw.. HAPPY NEW YEAR to my blogspot.

really i needed a january entry.