terrible

i feel.. terrible.
my mistake, i shouldn't have read your blog.
and now i feel like crap before an important interview. now what do i do?? how do i bring myself back up? for some reason.. i knew this was gonna happen. it was something that i was hoping wouldn't happen. after all that we've been through we just focus on the problem. i know i'm not a terrible person. i just have a few flaws that i need to stay focused on to work on. i'm not used being perfect. i'm not used to what you expect me to be. i mean i'm me.. i don't stop for nobody but here i am trying to stop and take a look at myself for once to figure out why i am the way i am.

i guess that's where we're different.
you don't want to settle and i don't want you to have to settle and lower your standards for me. i don't wanna feel like shit because i am the way i am. i only want you to be happy. so would it make you happier if i wasn't with you? you already know what your happiness relies on and it's not me.. i'm trying for you but that doesn't seem to be good enough anymore.

i'm capable of good and i'm working on it. what else can i possibly do?

i love you for you... seems like i can't get the same but you deserve the best.. so it only leaves us with... what?