in the pain, there is healing

slowly but surely.. i must take everything that i've learned the past few years and finally put the puzzle back together. i was able to put some pieces back together during the last few months of 2011 just to break those pieces back into smaller pieces so as of now, i am still broken but there are other pieces of me that i have been working on to be able to put those smaller pieces back into the bigger pieces that should create a different me. it's through the work that i am putting the effort into where i will find strength and courage to keep on moving. i think i am back at where i was when i was finally letting go of what is beyond my control. when it comes to the matters of the heart, i know that THAT in particular is beyond my control so it is best that i just let that go so there's no worry there especially since it is NOT a priority as of now. i can focus more on the harsh reality of what's to come, although, i really should not be worried about that because i must put my faith in the Lord. He is the only one in control and knows what is to come for me so i should just continue to believe that he has a reason for everything. i must continue with one day at a time especially when i find myself worrying about other things. i have to remind myself when i find myself dwelling. i ask myself, "is that happening right now? should you put yourself through the nervousness? do not feel anxious because today is today, not yet tomorrow so be grateful and enjoy. in prayer i will find peace." keep my faith in Jesus Christ that he is the only one who can raise me from it. i am only human.