do you want to know a secret?

i say somethings when i'm drunk that i don't mean. i just say what's on my mind but before i even begin to start i should say that i actually put thought into it. i am pretty mean but i've decided that i'm not gonna be that person. if it comes about then maybe it'll be addressed but for now. i'll just suppress the feelings. i went back into my past and thought "k, i should change it up and not be that person." not let it get to me. i've got my life to live and worry bout the more important things and if they're just not gonna live up to my standards of how a human being should be then i just won't deal with HIS bullshit. sounds good to me. that's why i have this blog. let out the frustrations that i have. k cool.

af & mu

i love my girlfriend so much! she really surprised me. i am a happy camper ;] she really made my night. this year together has been the best. gets tough sometimes but we work it out together. i love that we work it out together. it reassures me that we can do this. i'm hers and she's mine.

circulatory

so when i was little there were two things that i wanted to do. become a chef and work in the medical field. i remember watching my barney videos and it was the one where they were talking about what they wanted to be when they grew up. the girl wanted to be a chef and she looked so cool with all her cooking tools. i loved the idea of making food so that's why i tried to cook at a young age. i perfected the scrambled egg on my first try probably at the age of 8 or younger? i'm not sure but it was so fun! i used to always cook eggs after that each weekend for my sisters. as i got a little older i tried different ways of cooking the egg. there's so much you can do with an egg. for some reason i found it amazing. so i made it an ideal career when i was young. another memory i had today was when i was in my biology class. it refreshed my memory of why i wanted to be in the medical field. we were learning about the heart and the flow of the blood through the left atrium and ventricle etc. etc. but i had a flashback to 5th grade. we had a model of the heart and we learned about the different parts of the heart. right atrium right ventricle left atrium left ventricle. when we started learning about the body was when i knew i wanted to do something for people. i was so amazed by how the body works especially when we learned about the heart. i even considered being a doctor because i wanted to be a better doctor than doctors today. hmm maybe after becoming a nurse i can go back to school and get my PhD. it sounds highly unlikely but maybe with enough drive just maybe i can do it? i'm trying to set goals for myself. i already got the culinary down. now i need to get my medical field down.

i guess we lose sight of these things when you realize the long hard road you have to take to reach these goals. i'll admit when i was in high school i was always lazy and trying to find the easy way out. i had no clue bout what i wanted to do because all i could think about was living in the now and not the future. it took me awhile to finally get to this responsible me. it actually feels good to know that i've progressed. after going to culinary school and reaching that goal it made me realize that the hard work pays off and is really worth it. i'm finally in the right direction. what a breath of fresh air!

relocation

sdeeeeeezy??? soon to be :]
i can't waaaait.

really wish i could move to sj. it would be nice to make some big jumps like that but i can't do it just quite yet. sounds whack, i know.

san jose

is where my heart CURRENTLY is.. soon to be SD. i hope. i must say i'm really excited to listen to this erykah badu cd. good vibes. part one of amerykah was alright if i was in the mood for it but so far part two is dope! hmmMMm what are the other parts gonna be?!

i miss the love of my life!!!!!!!
waaaaah waaaaaaaaaaaah